Woman evicted for “too much noise from the bedroom”

 

"kwa nini auntie analia ivyo?" what the neighbour's kid asked his mother

There is a saying that if walls could speak, what they would say would shock us all to the bones. Actually many women suffer behind silent walls and live a very miserable life not knowing what to do.

This was the exact situation Janice found herself in after several years of marriage. A woman is a human being and needs to have sexual fulfillment in a marriage just the way a man does. So what do you do if your husband has got issues of his own that hinder you as a woman from being fulfilled? You may be quick to suggest that you talk to him or seek professional help in the form of counseling. But what if the man gets violent when you make such suggestions?

Janice’s husband Tom did not care about a woman’s feelings, least of all his own wife’s. It is difficult to believe that in this day and age men would exist who are sure that sex is for their own enjoyment and their own enjoyment alone and that their wife should satisfy only their demands as a sense of duty. Janice always suspected that it may have had something to do with the small size of his member which may have dealt a big blow to his esteem and self confidence.

The situation got so bad “being used” by Tom, when he felt like it that she had no alternative but to do the very shameful act of “servicing” herself and masturbating using a pillow. She became so used to it that after a while she stopped crying afterwards.

Probably what keeps many women sane is the fact that they talk a lot to others about their sometimes extremely intimate problems and Janice talked to her close women friends and explained her predicament. Mostly they were shocked to hear the details, but her situation was so complicated that it really had no solution as far as they were concerned. After all divorce was not the kind of thing that was accepted in Africa. In fact divorced women were often looked down on as having something wrong with them, It was assumed that there could never be anything wrong with the man, it was always the woman.

Finally Janice could not bear it any more and walked out of the marriage and started dating other men. Luckily this was a little easy because the marriage had not produced any children and Janice’ friends were not surprised because a man who took less than a minute in the act every time would not have too big a chance of “scoring a goal” surely and causing the birth of any children.

But Tom was really sick in the mind because in a fit of jealousy a few months after Janice had left him, he confronted her and beat her up very badly. It was this beating that caused her to move out of town. Luckily her bosses understood her predicament quickly and posted her to Nairobi from Kisumu. She quickly settled down in the city in the sun and ended up with a man (we shall call him James) who was about 10 years younger than her. One thing led to another and he moved into her house. He was just out of college and jobless.

James was very different from Tom. In fact he was the exact opposite of Tom and knew how to do everything to please and fulfill a woman. Indeed it is this that caused Janice to run into a more embarrassing problem.

It is difficult to tell why exactly she behaved the way she did, but it probably had to something to do with the almost 7 years of being trapped in a very unhappy marriage with Tom.

Janice problem was that she became very “noisy” when having sex with James. So noisy in fact that her neighbors started complaining. For example they would be preparing to go to church with their children on a Sunday morning when suddenly the loud moans culminating into screams would start coming from Door No 4 (which was her door number in the first flats she lived in.)

Naturally the children would get concerned and ask why “aunty” was screaming so early in the morning, and was she being beaten?

In this way she has so far been evicted from at least 3 houses during the time she has been in Nairobi which is barely 3 years. In fact in one estate where she used to live she was some sort of celebrity and that is how we were able to get this story.

The amazing thing is that Janice does not seem embarrassed nor does she seem to care too much about being the kind of “celebrity” she is. Is it because she managed to get out of such a terrible marriage in one piece that causes her to be so carefree and oblivious of disturbing neighbors?

How Tanzanian Beauty "Confused" Kenyan Man

Tanzanian women are deadly, you have been warned
This thing has happened way too many times and I was determined to dig deep and find out exactly what Tanzanian women do to Kenyan men in bed that makes them stop thinking... Or to put it more crudely causes them to think with that part of the body that is designed to urinate and go inside a woman so that the family lineage can continue. Definitely not meant to be used instead of the brain.

My investigations involved talking to several Kenyan men who have lived in Tanzania. It was as a result of this prolonged research that I have been able to re-create exactly what must have happened to poor Mr Kamau. I hereby reproduce it below;

From a very tender age Sophia had been trained intensively on how to handle a man in every aspect and so poor Mrs Kamau never stood a chance when her husband landed in Tanzania and was able to sample a proper Tanzanian "dish."

To make matters worse Sophia was on a mission which was to get money from Kamau. Tanzanian chics are already hot but when they make you, a project like Sophia did with Mr Kamau, you are just finished.

The first thing that Mr Kamau noticed was that Sophia would disappear into the bathroom for a long time before she came to bed every night. During that routine disappearing act he would always smell a nice smelling "Udi" aroma coming from the bathroom. What he did not know was a trick used by many women from the United Republic of Tanzania. They light a nice smelling udi and as it burns releasing a captivating aroma they squat in front of it so that the aroma can drift inside their private parts. In this way by the time Sophia got to bed she smelled nice everywhere including there. Many Tanzanian women believe that when you do this your man will never want to sleep with another woman.

Not only that. Back home in Kenya, Kamau had to ask his wife for sex when he felt like it and many times she would refuse saying that she was too tired. Sophia had been trained by her aunties that there was no difference between giving your husband food and giving him sex. Just like he did not need to beg you for food there was no reason for him to beg for sex. In fact just the way you asked him if he was hungry was the same way you needed to ask him if he wanted sex.

Sophia would look at Mr Kamau and ask him seductively, "Umeshiba?' (are you hungry?). Having already had his supper there was no mistaking what hunger she was talking about. Kamau did not need to say anything because the look he gave her showed that he was indeed "very hungry."

She would then undress slowly like some stripper at a night club, leaving only the beads on her waist which she never removed even when she was having a shower. Sophia had been told by her aunties that she should always assume that the man knew nothing about sex or the body of a woman. And so just like she served food she would need to serve him this other "dish" and direct him exactly what to do while being very observant to take note of what he liked and what he did not like. In this particular game it was easy, you just looked at his facial reaction to everything you did. In this way Sophia had discovered that Kamau preferred the missionary position. But the first time they had made love he had noticed that he moved up and down instead of the horizontal movement with his member moving inside her and touching the top of her vagina (the only way to give a woman real pleasure). And so from then on she was always careful to guide him and ensure he entered her at the right angle to hit the top and also made the right movement in and out of her.

Her aunties had also told her that all men liked noisy women. They loved it when they could see that the woman was really enjoying what they were doing and it always made them feel like real men and was the most powerful turn on for any man. They emphasized that the worst thing a woman would do was to fake it because the day he discovered he would leave your bed for another woman's and never trust you again.

Sophia did not need to fake anything when Kamau's member hit the right spot. She wiggled her hips and screamed in sheer pleasure. This coupled with the effect of the beads as she wriggled her hips was always too much for Kamau and he was forced to keep stopping his thrusting to avoid shooting his load too early. When he stopped she would expertly position herself so that he stopped on the spot and then she would move ever so slowly so that his member was circling the spot without Kamau having to move an inch. It would not take long before she would explode in a shattering orgasm screaming; Mama, wooooo mamaaaaaaaa, woooo hapo (there) hapo hapo hapooooooooo.."

It was at this point that Kamau would start thrusting again urgently and very fast and she would meet him with even more urgency shivering and shuddering as the orgasms moved from the tip of her feet to the top of her head. Kamau would at that point shoot his load in an extremely satisfying orgasm that caused him to make the kind of animal noises that really excited Sophia.

It was this kind of lovemaking that caused Kamau to think of nothing else the whole day. he would always look forward to the evening with Sophia. He even stopped drinking completely. What was the point of alcohol when this kind of ecstasy awaited him at home? It would cause him to hurriedly rush home like he was already very late for an important appointment.

It was also the reason why Kamau would always draw his entire salary in cash and hand it over to Sophia every month. His family back in Kenya would just have to find a way to survive, he would tell himself. This was a far cry from the urine smell and senseless humping that had been going in in Kenya with his wife. Now when he thought about it, it disgusted him.

Well Known Kenyan Father who fell in love with his own daughter

Money it seems sometimes has a funny effect on the brains of those who make plenty of it.

I have in mind the sick bizarre story that you will be told if you ask any old hand at the famous Dagoretti slaughterhouse about the billionaire who had a love affair with his own daughter.

Residents of the area still scratch their heads in wonder and ask themselves many questions as to what the problem may have been. The billionaire would have had any woman he wanted and yet he found that there was no other he could love romantically except his own blood daughter.

This billionaire never went to school but from a humble beginning managed to build a vast business empire to become one of the richest people ever in the history of Nairobi.

He built a very large mansion fit for a king in Karen and forbade any of his two wives (including his daughter’s mother) from ever setting foot in the place. The woman of that house was of course his very own beautiful daughter. After their busy days father and daughter would arrive there in their separate cars for companionship and passionate love-making at night. It is said that the servants in the mansion were few and were discouraged from discussing what they saw at the house. In fact a few were dismissed for their loose tongues.

But even in this the billionaire made a huge miscalculation because this gossip tale was irresistible and word was bound to get out. And it did.

The billionaire’s daughter already had a child from a previous liaison whom she sent to boarding school when he was very young but mercifully never got pregnant from her own father.

Incidentally she died a very violent death in the hands of some trigger-happy carjackers. The father could not bear life without the love of his life and quickly followed her to the grave. He left behind a huge fortune which is still being enjoyed by his relieved wives and their children.

Why sex bores many Kenyan women

The truth is that most men these days can't handle a woman.

A survey carried out by this writer revealed something that really shocked me and will shock most men too. Most girls (55% in Nairobi and 65% in Mombasa) prefer rough sex.

Now I am aware that most men these days are sissys and only wear trousers for show. They will penetrate a woman and then suddenly they can’t handle it. And yet the poor girl wants to get spiked hard and rough and for a long time. Turns out that when most men oblige, they stop after a few seconds and when she has almost reached that place, leaving her more hungry for it and frustrated than when the whole game began.

Only a skilled lover would know how to change the pace when they feel that it is too much and they are about to (you know what). In other instances they would stop suddenly for one second or two (enough to make the urge to spill everything go away) and then continue at the same rough and fast pace.

For some girls that is not enough. They want their hair pulled, their legs widened roughly and the man plunging in like he has not been with a woman for some decades. Slap them around gently, pinch and do all kinds of stuff. A woman wants to feel that they are totally under the control of their man who is dangerous although they love them. Thye want to feel that you are a real man and not a male species in trousers who should really be a female species.

My advice to men is to take their time and indeed go out of their way to discover what their woman wants. The hint I have given you here is important, the vast majority of women love it hard and rough. Remember that.

I made love to a famous politician woman and can't stop thinking about it